The worst thing about international soccer

Welcome to The Tap-Inn. Where you can tap in to the world of soccer with me, your Irish Tap-Inn bartender, Joe.

Howdy, partners. If you’ve lent a friend anything they’re yet to return this past year, this edition is for them. On tap today:

• 😡 Why clubs hate lending their players to international teams

• 🏆 Senegal parade a trophy they've been told to hand back

• 🔴 The man with 30 career red cards

Let’s tap in. 🍻

🥃 TOP SHELF

Why club coaches hate international soccer

Over the years, I've been asked to lend a lot of things.

My lucky barspoon. The bar’s good martini glasses. Ten thousand dollars, my passport and a blank cheque. Even my head bartender Danny for a second cousin's wedding. Danny came back with a sprained wrist and a three-day hangover.

“Someone had the audacity to ask for your lucky barspoon??”

My thoughts exactly. Anwyays, the point is you hesitate to lend things you actually need.

Soccer clubs feel the exact same wayabout their best players every time an international window rolls around, and right now those feelings are running very hot indeed.

Raph luck for clubs

Take Raphinha, Barcelona's best player this season with 19 goals and eight assists in 31 games. He played for his national team Brazil on Thursday but pulled up in the second half with a hamstring injury. He flew home where his club doctor told him he’d be out for a full five weeks.

This means he’ll miss crucial Champions League quarter finals against Atletico Madrid and at least four league matches as well. FIFA's compensation under the Club Protection Programme? A cheque for just $155,000 — the equivalent of a being offered a free packet of peanuts after the bartender had already poured you the wrong pint.

Technically something, but not exactly what you were hoping for.

In October 2023, Neymar tore his ACL playing for Brazil in a World Cup qualifier. Al-Hilal had just paid €90 million to sign him. He ended up playing just seven games in 18 months, earned an estimated $104 million in salary, and had his contract terminated last January. Yikes.

“Is there anything club managers can do?”

Well, the most decorated manager in English soccer history — Sir Alex Ferguson — was one of international soccer’s strongest detractors for years and at one stage even outright called it, “a waste of time.” He was never shy in telling his best players that they should be putting their club first.

This week, Mikel Arteta became the latest manager to take a very Fergie-shaped stance. A not-at-all-suspicious TEN Arsenal players have withdrawn from international duty during this window, leading pundits to cry that Arteta pulling an Alex Ferguson.

Whether those injuries are all genuine or whether some involve a rather liberal interpretation of the word "precaution," clubs like Arsenal who are fighting in multiple competitions simply cannot afford to take chances. Arteta himself put it plainly: "I’d rather drink Guinness through a straw."

US sports comparison

If you're coming from an NFL, NBA or MLB sports background, this probably feels strange — your best players simply don't get pulled mid-season to go represent the country in a separate competition run by a completely different organisation.

The closest equivalent is the Olympics, where NBA stars have occasionally dipped out, and even then it's a once-every-four-years debate rather than a fixture every few months. In soccer, this tug of war happens all season, every season.

So next time your buddy asks for that fiver, think again.

• Who the hell are FIFA?

• Why do soccer player play in so many competitions?

• How to read a league table

🗞️ THIS WEEK IN SOCCER

Senegal parade a trophy they've been told isn’t theirs

In case you’ve been sleeping under a rock, Senegal were stripped of their Africa Cup of Nations (AFCON) title a couple weeks ago, a full two months after the final. The Senegalese have called it "absolute bs the most grossly unfair administrative robbery in soccer history," refused to hand the trophy back, and have appealed to the Court of Arbitration for Sport.

Doubling down on their belief the trophy is rightfully theirs, they paraded it in front of thousands of supporters before their exhibition match against Peru on Saturday. Big "kicked out of the bar but snuck a pint out with you and now drinking it on the doorstep while the bouncer watches" energy.

If you need the full backstory on Senegal's chaotic AFCON final with Morocco, we covered it blow by blow here.

Why you never turn down your country

There's something patriotic and emotional about getting the chance play soccer for your country. So much so that when players turn down that chance, fans don't forget.

Ben White walked away from England during the 2022 World Cup and made himself unavailable for four years. He made a hero’s return on Friday, coming off the bench to score his first international goal — and still got booed for it.

To make matters worse, he then gave away a stoppage-time penalty to let Uruguay equalise 1-1. Next round’s on me, Ben — I think you could do with one.

Chris’s misses

I am not panicking, I want to be very clear about that. Twelve games without a goal for AC Milan, seven for the USMNT, and then on Saturday against Belgium, several clear chances went begging.

Since I boldly asked the question in December, “is Pulisic the best player in Italy” after scoring a then league-leading seven goals in nine league games, he has since gone on to score just one in his next 14.

Christian himself has said he’s "disappointed."

Me? I’m fine. Definitely didn’t jinx it. Deeeeefinitely didn’t say he was peaking too early either…

📝 TRIVIA ON TAP

Proud to represent

Who holds the men's record for most international appearances?

• A) Lionel Messi

• B) Sergio Ramos

• C) Luka Modrić

• D) Cristiano Ronaldo

Answer at the bottom 👇

🌎 WORLD CUP COUNTDOWN: 74 DAYS

Six spots still up for grabs

Tuesday March 31 is going to be a big night.

Four UEFA playoff finals determine the last four European spots available at the 2026 World Cup: Denmark vs Czechia, Italy vs Bosnia and Herzegovina, Sweden vs Poland, and Kosovo vs Turkey. And yes, those links all click through to Google Maps. You’re welcome.

Meanwhile in Mexico, the intercontinental playoff finals hand out the very last two spots in the entire tournament: Jamaica vs DR Congo and Bolivia vs Iraq.

Five past Poch

USMNT 2-5 Belgium. Ouch.

McKennie opened the scoring on 39 minutes with his 12th international goal before Belgium went ahead and scored five like it was nothing. Head coach Pochettino called it a "reality check" but it’s worth noting that key defenders Dest, Richards and Miles Robinson were all missing through injury. Patrick Agyemang nabbed a consolation goal to wrap things up. Full match highlights below.

Up next: USA vs Portugal, Tuesday March 31, 7pm ET, Atlanta. Portugal are ranked top ten in the world but will be without the recently injured Ronaldo.

It can’t go any worse than Saturday, can it?

🔥 QUICKFIRE

Sound like a pro

Phrase: On the plane

Origin: Comes from the literal image of a manager deciding which players board the flight to an international tournament.

Definition: When a player has done enough to secure their spot in a World Cup squad, for example.

Usage: "After that performance against Belgium, McKennie is absolutely on the plane. Pulisic? Still on the plane. Just maybe not in first class right now."

On this day

: Vlad the Impaler Sergio Ramos (above) was born in Seville, Spain. He went on to win a World Cup, two European Championships and four Champions Leagues, earning 180 caps for Spain. And he only picked up 30 red cards along the way.

He famously delivered one of the most controversial shoulder barges in Champions League history. Liverpool fans know the one. Happy birthday, Sergio.

Goal of the week

Florian Wirtz for Germany against Switzerland. 30 yards. Top corner. Two goals and two assists in a 4-3 win. Not bad, Flo. Not bad.

📝 TRIVIA ANSWER

Cristiano Ronaldo

226 caps and counting.

For context: Messi has 196, Modrić 194, Ramos 180 — all in the top ten of all time.

🍺 Next round’s on me

If you enjoyed this, forward it to that friend who knows nothing about soccer and help spread the good word. For every 10 friends that use your referral link to pull up a stool, I’ll personally buy you a beer.

You read that correctly.

I’ll be behind the bar every week, Monday and Friday, serving up soccer. Sláinte.

— Joe