..to The Tap-Inn. Where you can tap in to the world of soccer with me, your first-gen Irish Tap-Inn bartender, Joe.

There’s two things I love serving in my bar. Ice cold beer and soccer wisdom.

I’m not talking like I’ve just ingested a coach’s manual, I’m speaking plain English - like a regular Joe. A short visit to The Tap-Inn will have you sounding like a pro.

Ready? I thought so. Let’s pour.

Think of world soccer like a massive bar chain with bars all over the world. FIFA is the global head office - they set the rules of the whole operation, decide where the big events happen (like the World Cup), and make sure every bar is playing by the same handbook.

You also also might have heard of UEFA - they’re in charge of planning Champions League and Europa League nights, as well as international games for European countries in competitions like the Euros (the European Championship) and the UEFA Nations League.

While UEFA technically sits underneath FIFA in the global soccer pyramid, UEFA is still massively powerful because Europe has most of the world’s biggest clubs, players, and money.

Then there’s the FA, your local English bar manager. This is the one dealing with day-to-day disciplinary stuff, sorting matchday madness, and enforcing the rules inside their own four walls. Other countries would also have their own local managers to handle similar shenanigans e.g. Germany has the DFB and Spain has the RFEF.

“Tell me Joe, what do they actually stand for?”

Thought you’d never ask:

Who knew learning soccer’s global corporate governance could be so much fun!

*clocks out and pours double JD on the rocks*

The USMNT’s Christian Pulisic pounced on a penalty rebound to win the Italian Derby della Madonnina. That’s 5 goals in 7 games for the in-form forward. Saucy.

Eberechi Eze scored a derby day hat‑trick to crush Spurs and send Arsenal six points clear at the top of the table. Great time to be an Arsenal fan.

Forest battered Liverpool at Anfield. That’s 6 losses in 7 league games for Arne Slot’s men. A truly terrible, terrible time to be a Reds fan.

(Scroll down for the answer)

You could literally head to outer space, set a duration record for a crewed mission to the International Space Station, and come back to earth and the World Cup opening match is still that far away. Although you might miss the first half: SpaceX’s crew spent a full 199 days, 17 hours, 44 minutes in orbit in 2021. Stellar.

We do now know the names of 42/48 teams that will be playing, though. Never too early to pre-book your table at The Tap-Inn for June 11th 2026 is all I’m saying…

When a team defends deep with almost everyone behind the ball — basically stuffing the penalty box and hoping the opponent runs out of ideas.

It’s the go-to tactic for underdogs trying to survive against bigger teams. Think: “We’re not scoring today… but maybe neither are they.”

⚽️ Goal of the week

Cristiano Ronaldo. He’s 40 years old and still scoring bicycle kicks. Looks like he’s gotten over his humiliation in Dublin.

📅 On this day

November 24th, 2022. Portugal beat Ghana 3-2 to kick off their World Cup campaign with a winning start. Cristiano Ronaldo became the first man to score in FIVE World Cups. The big question is, will he score in six?

If a team drops below 7 players (due to injuries, red cards, etc.), the match must be abandoned according to the Laws of the Game (Law 3: The Players).

Thanks for stopping by The Tap-Inn.

If you enjoyed this, forward it to that friend who knows nothing about soccer and help spread the good word.

I’ll be behind the bar every week, Monday and Friday, serving up soccer. Sláinte.

— Joe