..to The Tap-Inn. Where you can tap in to the world of soccer with me, your first-gen Irish Tap-Inn bartender, Joe.

There’s two things I love serving in my bar. Ice cold beer and soccer wisdom.

I’m not talking like I’ve just ingested a coach’s manual, I’m speaking plain English - like a regular Joe. A short visit to The Tap-Inn will have you sounding like a pro.

Ready? I thought so. Let’s pour.

An uninterupted shot from 12 yards out. How could you miss?

Pretty easily, actually. On average, only 78% of penalties are scored — pressure gets to even the best players in soccer. But not me, never missed a pressure-pen in my life. Pressure’s for kegs.

‘Okay, Joe, we believe you. But how do penalties actually work?’

A penalty is awarded when a foul happens inside (or on the line) of the penalty area:

Goalkeepers must have at least one foot on or above the goal line when the penalty kick is taken - if the keeper has left the line before the ball is kicked and saves the penalty, the penalty taker will have a chance to take their kick again.

Congrats, you’ve just scored… knowledge.

Who has scored the most penalties in soccer history?

This “friendly” for team USA finished anything but. Goals from Gio Reyna and Folarin Balogun looked set to send Pochetino’s men on their way to a relatively uneventful win but that all went sideways in stoppage time when both benches turned the pitch into a full-on wrestling match. Lovely wholesome prep.

This was the first of two November tune-ups in Pochettino’s plan to stress-test his squad before 2026. A bunch of big names - Pulisic, Adams, McKennie - weren’t even called in. Instead, he handed the keys to the young guns: Reyna, Balogun, Aaronson, Tessmann.

I’m not sure if the boys are over 21 just yet, but they’ve definitely earned a pint (or six) at The Tap-Inn after that one.

There’s space for just 16 more countries at the World Cup next year, as Norway and Portugal confirmed their spots at the 48-team tournament on Sunday.

And yes, Haaland did score again in a 4-1 win for Norway against Italy.

And actually no, Ronaldo did not score in Portugal’s 9-1 (!!!) defeat of Armenia - he missed the game as he was serving a suspension for a red card. I’m sure he’s not bitter about it at all.

Goal of the week

Did I tell you I’m Irish already?

From 12 yards, the ball comes at you fast.

Goalkeepers basically have to guess where a penalty is gonna be kicked, so they usually gamble and dive right or left.

If the gamble does not pay off, and the penalty taker kicks the ball in the opposite corner - the keeper has been “sent the wrong way.”

Here it is in action:

Yes, it’s that guy Cristiano Ronaldo, again. He has scored an incredible 179 penalties in his career.

He has also missed the most penalties ever too, missing 33.

You gotta take ‘em to score them, guys.

Thanks for stopping by The Tap-Inn.

If you enjoyed this, forward it to that friend who knows nothing about soccer and help spread the good word.

I’ll be behind the bar every week, Monday and Friday, serving up soccer. Sláinte.

— Joe