Welcome to The Tap-Inn. Where you can tap in to the world of soccer with me, your Irish Tap-Inn bartender, Joe. 🍻

We've got a big one this Friday. On tap:

You may not be surprised to hear this, but The Tap-Inn has CCTV.

It came in real handy last month when two regulars got into a serious argument over who a fresh pint of Guinness belonged to. For the levels of inebriation involved, I could have been serving them a melted black crayon with a cream hat on top. Alas, their dispute persisted — with some seriously dubious reasoning.

“I heard it call my name — how could it not be mine??”

Thanks to the wonders of video technology however, I rolled the security tape back. It was settled in thirty seconds.

Other patrons — upon witnessing my prowess for liquid litigation — approached the bar with qualms of their own.

“Can you check who just lined up 10 Radiohead songs in a row on the jukebox?”

Looking at the cameras for just a minor foul? No chance. Heading out the back to check the footage is for serious offences only (but it was definitely the guy crying into his whiskey sour in the corner).

VAR — Video Assistant Referee — is a team of officials sitting in a video control room, watching the game on multiple camera angles at once. They're plugged into the on-field referee's earpiece. If the ref makes a clear, obvious error on one of four things — a goal, a penalty, a red card, or a case of giving a yellow card to the wrong player — VAR can flag it and ask for a review.

"Sounds reasonable enough."

It is, on paper. And this week it did its job. Trailing PSG 2-0 on aggregate on Tuesday at Anfield, the on-field referee handed Liverpool a lifeline by awarding them a penalty. However, VAR gave a message in the ref’s ear that he had got it wrong, and overturned the decision. Correct call, cruel timing.

"So what's everyone's problem with it?"

It’s the wait. The frozen celebrations. The joy held hostage while a room full of people in headsets zoom in on someone's armpit to check if they were 0.3cm offside. Getting it right matters — but so does the flow of the game.

And VAR is still figuring out how to do both.

Keep reading:

What started out as 36 teams is now 4. The results from the quarter-finals below:

Semis: PSG vs Bayern, Atletico vs Arsenal. April 28-29 and May 5-6.

If you were going to watch one game for the rest of the Premier League season, it’s gotta be this Sunday’s title-decider. Anything could happen.

A retrial into the death of Diego Maradona began this week in Buenos Aires, five and a half years after the soccer legend died aged 60 following brain surgery in 2020.

Seven members of his medical team are accused of gross negligence — and it doesn’t look good. The first trial collapsed last year after one of the judges was caught secretly filming a documentary about the case inside the courtroom.

As courtroom dramas go, that's hard to top. The retrial is expected to run until at least July.

Keep reading:

VAR made its FIFA World Cup debut in which year?

Answer at the bottom 👇

Fifty-five days is the same amount of time it once took George Harbo and Frank Samuelsen to row from New York to England way back in 1896.

No GPS, no motor, no idea what was waiting on the other side — not a bad way to describe how the USMNT now find themselves heading into the World Cup.

US Soccer sporting director Matt Crocker — the guy responsible for hiring Pochettino and building the entire technical structure around this World Cup — is leaving. For Saudi Arabia. With 55 days to go.

The federation insists it will have zero impact on preparation and that everything is fine.

You know, I wouldn’t believe them, but one of the guys stepping in is literally named “Gooch” so I think they’ll be fine.

To be fair, the squad announcement isn't until May 26 and the heavy lifting on roster selection is largely done. But losing your sporting director two months before a home World Cup is not exactly the vibe you're looking for.

Keep reading:

Phrase: Checking the monitor

Origin: Arrived with VAR when the Premier League adopted it in 2019. The moment a referee trudges over to a small pitchside screen, puts on a headset, and squints at footage while 60,000 people stare in silence. It has become one of the most recognizable — and most argued-about — images in modern soccer.

Definition: When the on-field referee is asked to review a decision themselves on the pitchside monitor, rather than simply accepting VAR's recommendation through the earpiece.

Usage: "The ref's checking the monitor. Could be a red card. Could be nothing. Could be another three minutes of everyone standing around not knowing what's happening."

April 17, 2006: Twenty years ago today, the Premier League's all-time leading scorer Alan Shearer played his final professional game for Newcastle United and scored his record 260th PL goal in a 4-1 win against local rivals Sunderland.

Aside from being a violently high proof tequila-based cocktail on our Tap-Inn bar menu, a “rabona” is also an audacious football technique where a player strikes the ball by wrapping their kicking leg behind their standing leg.

And below an absolute peach of an example — you know it’s good when the commentator’s best efforts to describe the goal to the viewer is simply “OOHH LALAAAA OH LAALA OOOOOH LAAAALAAAAA”.

Enjoy.

The first VAR penalty at a World Cup was awarded for France against Australia. The tournament saw 29 penalties awarded — more than double the 13 given at Brazil 2014, and a record that still stands.

Turns out when you give officials the ability to rewind the tape, they find a lot more fouls in the box.

Thanks for stopping by at The Tap-Inn.

If you enjoyed this, forward it to that friend who knows nothing about soccer and help spread the good word. For every 10 friends that use your referral link to pull up a stool, I’ll personally buy you a beer.

You read that correctly.

I’ll be behind the bar every week, Monday and Friday, serving up soccer. Sláinte.

— Joe