Welcome to The Tap-Inn. Where you can tap in to the world of soccer with me, your Irish Tap-Inn bartender, Joe. 🍻

Happy Friday folks. On the menu today:

Knowledge on tap.

Every bar has house rules.

No drinks on the pool table. No religion or politics. And absolutely zero sneaky Irish goodbyes right before it’s your turn to buy a round.

Soccer has rules too — and FIFA just updated them for this summer's World Cup.

Five new rules. Three of which are aimed at fixing one very specific problem: time-wasting. The dark art of killing the clock. Players have been doing it professionally, creatively and without shame for decades. FIFA has had enough.

“I heard some stat that the ball is only actually in play for like 55 out of 90 minutes in soccer… is that true?”

It is indeed. But here’s how FIFA are gonna change it:

When a player gets substituted, they now have 10 seconds to leave the pitch. That's it.

Previously? Some players treated the walk to the sideline like a victory lap — slowly peeling off their knee tape, stopping for chats, generally milking every second while their team nursed a 1-0 lead.

Break the new rule and your replacement has to wait a full minute before coming on. Your team plays short-handed in the meantime. Suddenly that slow walk gets a lot faster.

Once the ball goes out of play, the team restarting has five seconds to do so.

If you mess around, fiddle with your socks or simply take your sweet time, possession flips to the other team.

If you go down injured and need a trainer on the pitch, you now have to leave the field and wait one minute before coming back. The exception is if the foul that caused the injury was bad enough to earn the opponent a card — then you can stay.

It’s hoped this will mean no more lying down, wasting time, getting a magic spray on your shin, then jumping up to carry on like nothing happened.

VAR — the video review system — has been around since 2018. Love it or hate it, it's not going anywhere. And now it's got a bigger remit.

It can now review second yellow cards that result in a red, and incorrectly awarded corner kicks. More checks, fewer howlers. In theory…

Simple one. If you have a problem with a decision, only the team captain can walk over and ask about it. Any other player who runs in to argue? Yellow card. Automatically.

Or if you’re Pierluigi Collina, just stick your head in their face.

See? Rules are fun!

Also on tap:

Europe's last eight got down to business this week in the quarter-final first legs. Four games. Plenty of drama.

The job is only half done for four clubs — second legs are on April 14 and 15 next week. Stay tuned.

A full round of fixtures this weekend, and there's plenty to keep an eye on.

Southampton handed Wrexham a 5-1 thrashing on Tuesday. The Red Dragons went 2-0 down inside 22 minutes, Josh Windass pulled one back, and then it completely fell apart in the second half. Southampton — fresh off knocking Arsenal out of the FA Cup — are on a remarkable 13-game unbeaten run and are flying.

The result knocked Wrexham out of the playoff places. They're 7th now, two points behind Southampton in 6th, with seven games left.

That's what the cool kids call a six-pointer — one I’ll explain in Quickfire below.

Pour yourself another:

When was the yellow card first used in a competitive match?

Answer at the bottom 👇

Pochettino will name his final World Cup squad on May 26.

And the biggest question for the USMNT right now is who's going to lead the line wearing #9 on their backs. Here’s the options:

Also on the menu:

Phrase: A six-pointer

Origin: Comes straight from the math of soccer's points system. A win is worth three points. When two teams directly competing — for a title, for playoff spots, or to avoid relegation — play each other, the result swings six points between them: three you gain, three you deny the opponent.

Definition: A match between two teams where the result carries double significance because of where they both sit in the table.

Usage: "Wrexham vs Southampton was a proper six-pointer — Wrexham lost, dropped out of the playoffs, and Southampton jumped right over them. All in one go."

April 10, 1886. 140 years ago, Heart of Midlothian opened Tynecastle Park in Edinburgh with a 4-1 win over Bolton Wanderers. They've called it home ever since.

Right now, Hearts are top of the Scottish Premiership — one point ahead of Rangers, three ahead of Celtic — chasing their first league title in 66 years. Celtic have won 13 of the last 14 titles and no club outside Celtic or Rangers has lifted the trophy since Aberdeen in 1985.

Hearts have six games left. The final day? Away to Celtic. No pressure.

And finally, strap yourself in for the longest distance own goal you’re ever likely to see:

Next one’s on me, Martim. I think you could do with one.

The yellow card was invented by English referee Ken Aston and first used at the 1970 World Cup in Mexico. Before that, referees just had to shout at players and hope for the best. No, really.

After Argentina’s captain was sent off at the 1966 World Cup in controversial circumstances, Aston realised a clear, universal way to signal cautions or dismissals was needed for players from different countries who didn’t always understand verbal warnings.

The story goes that he was driving home when he stopped at a traffic light. Red. Yellow. Green. And the rest is history.

Thanks for stopping by at The Tap-Inn.

If you enjoyed this, forward it to that friend who knows nothing about soccer and help spread the good word. For every 10 friends that use your referral link to pull up a stool, I’ll personally buy you a beer.

You read that correctly.

I’ll be behind the bar every week, Monday and Friday, serving up soccer. Sláinte.

— Joe