..to The Tap-Inn. Where you can tap in to the world of soccer with me, your first-gen Irish Tap-Inn bartender, Joe.

On tap this week:

Let’s pour.

Picture this.

You’re finally in that hip new bar everyone’s been raving about. You and your buddy Ted order yourselves a pair of their famous triple strength Moscow mules, and they land in front of you just as expected — overpriced and delicious. The lighting is just right, the atmosphere is warm and the taps are flowing.

You’re living the dream.

Two months later, your other buddy Jim has finally broken 100 on the golf course — a cause for celebration if ever there was one. “I know a place”, you think to yourself. In you pop to the same supper club for some commemorative cold ones but something has changed.

The lights are brighter, the crowd is colder, and the new bartenders only serve cocktails with feelings for names. Realising you’re not that keen on a Depresso Martini, you ask the doorman on the way out what’s going on. He rolls his eyes at you and shrugs,

“Owner didn’t like the bar manager. We’re under new management.”

Obviously, changing a bars entire staff and style every time the owner fell out with the bar manager would not be a great recipe for success. You’d annoy the regulars, sales would drop and you’d be left with inconsistent drinks and dishes.

And yet this happens in soccer, all the time.

The average Premier League manager lasts just two years and four days. Take out long-serving outliers like Pep Guardiola and it’s a paltry one year and 169 days.

Let’s compare that to American sports — in the NBA, where coaches notoriously get short leashes, head honchos get 2.4 years. Even in the league literally nicknamed 'Not For Long’, NFL head coaches average longer than soccer at 3.2 years per tenure.

Ex-Crystal Palace manager Patrick Vieira summed it up perfectly: "We are in an industry where we say that the long-term in our job is the next five games."

Not the next five years, the next five games.

This reality hit home hard on February 11th and 12th when two Premier League managers got the axe within 24 hours. Only hired in the summer, Thomas Frank was sacked by Tottenham after two wins in his last 17 league games. The very next day, Nottingham Forest fired Sean Dyche after just four months in charge.

“Four months???”

It gets worse. Dyche was their third manager this season — Nuno Espírito Santo lasted the first three games, Ange Postecoglou managed the next eight, and now Dyche's gone after 114 days. They've just appointed their fourth boss of the season, breaking a Premier League record.

“Four managers?????”

Yes. And the fourth guy, Vítor Pereira, has himself already been sacked once this season, losing his job with Wolves in November.

Four months is barely enough time to learn where the coffee machine is, never mind rewire a squad to play with inverted full-backs and positional rotations.

Think those are extreme? Second division Watford FC went through 19 managers in 10 years under the Pozzo family’s ownership. They just hired their 22nd manager in 14 years — find all 21 predecessors unironically ranked here.

In 2016, Claudio Ranieri won the Premier League with Leicester as 5000/1 underdogs. According to the bookmakers, it was more likely that the Loch Ness Monster would be found. It was truly one of the greatest underdog stories in sports history. Nine months later, he was sacked.

Back in 2012, Premier League managers averaged nearly four years per job. Now? About 1.5 years. I’ve had longer hangovers, for goodness sake.

“Yikes. Why are the stakes so high?”

A few reasons, namely:

Of course, there are outliers. Sir Alex Ferguson managed Manchester United for almost 27 years. Arsene Wenger lasted 22 years at Arsenal. Guardiola is in his ninth season at Manchester City.

But those managers won. A lot. And consistently. Even Wenger — who built Arsenal's stadium and kept them in the Champions League on a shoestring budget — spent his final years fighting off "Wenger Out" banners.

Trust isn’t handed out in soccer. It’s earned by winning trophies.

Nobody orders a drink and says "take your time, I'll wait three years for you to perfect it." They want to taste success, and they want to taste it yesterday.

If you’re asking me though, I think everyone should just chill out and taste some 7.3% ABV IPAs at The Tap-Inn. Just an idea.

Hollywood's team reached the FA Cup Round of 5 for the first time in 29 years with a 1-0 win over Ipswich on Friday. Josh Windass's 34th-minute goal sent the Racecourse Ground wild.

Now they're into the last 16 — just four wins away from the FA Cup Final at Wembley Stadium. Not bad for a club that was in the fifth tier five years ago. The fifth-round draw happens Monday night — tap in here to see who they get.

The FA Cup fourth round saw Premier League heavyweights pour through:

Cristiano Ronaldo returned to Al Nassr's lineup Saturday after missing three games in protest over the Saudi Arabia Public Investment Fund not buying him the league title backing his club like they back rivals Al Hilal.

It took him just 18 minutes to tap in his 962nd career goal and for everyone to forget the strike ever happened. Al Nassr won 2-0 and now sit just one point behind leaders Al Hilal in the Saudi title race.

USMNT goalkeeping legend Tim Howard set a World Cup record for most saves in a single match during the USA's Round of 16 loss to Belgium in 2014. How many saves did he make?

Keep scrolling for the answer.

1 - That's how many bad goalkeeper performances it takes to ruin your entire World Cup. Just ask England fans about Robert Green vs. USA in 2010.

The USMNT goalkeeper battle is still pretty open with the World Cup kicking off in 4 months:

For decades, goalkeeper was America's superpower position. Brad Friedel played in three World Cups, logged 450+ Premier League games and even once won GK of the year in. Tim Howard spent 13 seasons in the Premier League with Manchester United and Everton and was so good he earned himself the moniker The Secretary of Defense.

Now? We've got an MLS keeper who broke out last year and a former starter trying to reclaim his spot.

MLS kicks off late February. One hot streak could lock down the starting job. One shaky performance could blow it wide open. Pochettino needs his keeper sorted — we’ll keep you posted on this one.

Phrase: El Sackico

Origin: A play on "El Clásico" (the famous Real Madrid vs Barcelona rivalry). When two struggling teams face off and both managers are one loss away from getting sacked.

Definition: A match where the loser's manager is almost guaranteed to get fired.

Usage: "19th vs 20th in the table? That's El Sackico right there.”

February 16, 1964: Bebeto was born - the Brazilian forward who created one of soccer's most iconic celebrations.

At the 1994 World Cup, he scored against the Netherlands and rocked his arms like a baby, honoring his newborn son. Players still copy it today. He won 75 caps for Brazil and scored 39 goals.

If you’re going to get the sack, you may as well go out with a bang.

That’s exactly what happened to Gus Poyet in 2013 when he found out he'd been fired as Brighton manager while doing punditry for a game — on live British television.

Next round’s one me Gus, I think you could do with one.

Howard was heroic in Brazil, keeping the USA in the game single-handedly before Belgium finally won 2-1 in extra time. The Secretary of Defense indeed.

Thanks for stopping by The Tap-Inn.

If you enjoyed this, forward it to that friend who knows nothing about soccer and help spread the good word.

I’ll be behind the bar every week, Monday and Friday, serving up soccer. Sláinte.

— Joe