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Welcome to The Tap-Inn. Where you can tap in to the world of soccer with me, your Irish Tap-Inn bartender, Joe. 🍻

The Premier League kicks off in 21 days. That's roughly how long it takes to form a new habit. Here’s one you could form yourself in that time — getting a new friend, family member or long lost acquaintance to subscribe to The Tap-Inn every time it hits your inbox. Just a thought…

On tap today:

  • 🦅 Pochettino bets on America

  • 💰 FIFA's World Cup sale plan implodes

  • 🇧🇷 Neymar hangs up his Brazilian boots

Ready? Let's tap-in.

🥃 TOP SHELF

“Do any of you play goalkeeper?” — Spurs players scouting a new No.1 during their recent pre-season community work in New Zealand, presumably.

My buddy Harry has worked at The Tap-Inn for years.

In May he told me he needed an extended vacation, so he booked himself a six-week trip to Bali to "find himself." Came back with somehow even more tattoos, a buzzcut, and a newfound appreciation for açai bowls.

My other bartender, though? He also tapped out and jetted off for the summer, posting himself up as a barback in a swanky resort bar in Cancun. Away from the dayjob, but still putting in shifts.

Back in NY however, I’m well aware that when the Premier League season starts in three weeks, we're going to be absolutely slammed.

So here's what I did: I drilled Harry hard. Double shifts, muscle memory work, getting him sharp again. The Cancun guy? I gave him extra time off. He was working all summer anyway. He still has his edge.

“And you’re going to tell me that Harry is the regular Premier League Joe getting back to pre-season after the summer off?..”

Go on…

“…And Mr Cancun is an elite player who was playing at the World Cup in what was supposed to be his time off?”

I couldn’t have put it better myself.

Some guys got an actual vacation. They're rusty and need drilling. Other guys were at the WC. Actually competing, actually keeping sharp. They're exhausted now and need extra recovery, joining pre-season a few weeks later than their peers.

By August 21, both types of player need to be ready. Here’s the five things they’ll both be pouring over for the three weeks.

1. Fitness Tests

Players show up. Some are sharp. Some break fitness tests. Some look like they've spent six weeks eating pasta.

Clubs run strength and conditioning tests — harsh measuring sticks that determine who needs extra runs and who plays in Gameweek 1. It's not cruel — a player who shows up unfit is simply a hamstring injury waiting to happen.

Friendlies against random opponents aren't about winning. They're about volume and minutes in the tank.

2. The New Teammate Angle

Your club signed three new players in the transfer market. You've never played with them. In a friendly, miscommunication and mistakes are expected. You're learning.

By Gameweek 1 though, those same errors costs you three points. Pre-season is about building an understanding with new teammates. It rightly should take months, but needs to happen in just weeks.

3. The Starting XI Question

Pre-season is terrifying for established players. You've been a starter for two years straight. Then your manager brings in a new signing — young, hungry and breaking club jersey sales records in their first week.

If there’s one thing an established player must avoid at all costs, it’s having a bad pre-season. While there’s no such thing as a great pre-season, there are plenty of ways to have a terrible one.

Avoid sowing those seeds of doubt in the head coach’s mind at all costs.

4. Tactical Drilling

Your coach has a vision. Maybe possession-based, maybe direct and quick. Doesn't matter if the players haven't seen it since May. Pre-season is where a team gets synchronized:

  • Set pieces are run until they're automatic.

  • Shape drills are set until defending is instinctive.

  • Pressing is practised until it's second nature.

Some teams look polished for season kickoff in August. Some look as confused as a Guinness with a cocktail umbrella.

The difference is often just whether their manager has had time (and the communication skills) to drill his ideas effectively.

5. The Injuries You're Praying Don't Happen

You feel a twinge in your hamstring. Your knee feels weird. These are normal coming-back sensations. But one soft-tissue injury in pre-season costs you four weeks. Four weeks means you start on the bench — or worse, a new signing comes in to replace you.

As for how to avoid the injuries in the first place? I think Harry in Bali might have been onto something after all — more players than ever are employing personal Yoga trainers to ensure their joints are bullet-proof and their minds are sound.

TLDR: Pre-season is where players get fit, re-learn tactics, battle for minutes, make friends with new signings and avoid injury at all costs.

Yoga for Joe? I already found enlightenment.

It’s called a Miller High Life and a shot of Jamo, thank you very much.

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🗞️ THIS WEEK IN SOCCER

Not for sale: The World Cup

Gianni Infantino's plan to sell a stake in the World Cup to private investors just blew up spectacularly.

Infantino had given nations two months to decide whether to sell the World Cup's soul, offered them $40m to vote yes and $10m if they didn’t, and his best mate Joshua Kushner just happens to be leading the investor group.

His own senior advisor resigned, calling the deal "unequivocal" opposition.

All 55 UEFA nations met and unanimously vowed to boycott every FIFA competition unless he abandons the idea entirely. Europe (being home to most of the best national teams) holds all the cards — without them, the World Cup is finished.

Infantino has little choice but to back down.

One more round: Poch stays for 2030

Mauricio Pochettino just rejected a job offer from one of Europe’s most prestigious club’s — Italy’s A.C. Milan. He could've taken it and lived out his days sipping espresso and vino rosso.

Instead, he's staying with the U.S. national team through 2030.

Why would anyone turn down an objectively more illustrious career opportunity? The romanticistwould argue that the man enjoyed hosting a World Cup at home so much and fell in love with the star-spangled banner so deeply that he thought, "Yeah, I’m here for the long haul."

A realist would say it was the money, with his new salary set to place his overall compensation in line with the highest-paid international coaches in the world.

My own money? On the realist for this one, I’ll be honest.

Neymar's tab is closed

Neymar's international career is over. The 34-year-old forward won't pull on the Brazil shirt again, confirmed by coach Carlo Ancelotti.

Neymar leaves unfulfilled. No World Cup glory. No Copa America. He was a generational talent but injuries and an unusually long run of average Brazil rosters meant he couldn't do what Messi did and sweep everything before him.

Pour one out for one the greats and enjoy some of his finest work from his prime years here.

🌎 THE TRANSFER TAP-IN

World Cup star and $135 million dollar man, Yan Diomande

The Summer Transfer Window is in full swing and the deals are flowing thick and fast.

Here's what's landed in the last couple of days.

The big-money moves

Liverpool still chasing Salah successor

When Mo Salah left Liverpool, the Reds needed a new right winger, fast. Their first choice was Yan Diomande — the very player Real Madrid are just about to sign. So Liverpool have turned to PSG's Bradley Barcola and are planning to lodge an opening bid worth up to $130m.

One snag: Barcola's a left winger, and club legend Jamie Carragher has been loudly pointing out that Liverpool already have plenty of those and still, technically, no direct Salah replacement. Watch this space.

📝 ASK JOE

"My friend said Lionel Messi makes way more money than his Inter Miami teammates. Isn't that against the rules? I thought the MLS had salary caps." — Paul, Austin

Good instinct — the MLS does have a salary cap. But they’ve room for exceptions. The league runs a total salary budget of about $6 million per squad for the season. Split that across a 20-plus man roster and you get why most MLS salaries look modest compared to Europe.

Except MLS carved out a loophole in 2007 when former Real Madrid and England star David Beckham move to LA Galaxy. The new rule was aptly nicknamed the "Beckham Rule," specifically so a club could sign a superstar without blowing up the cap. Each team gets up to three "Designated Player" slots, and those players' wages barely count against the budget at all. Messi is a Designated Player. So is Uruguay legend, Luis Suárez and former Spain international, Jordi Alba.

It's also why you'll see MLS transfer news get weirdly specific about "opening up a DP slot" — Atlanta United, for example, are reportedly chasing former Liverpool striker Darwin Núñez, but they can't even talk numbers with him until they clear one of their three DP spots first. That's the actual holdup on a move that otherwise makes plenty of sense.

So no, it's not against the rules. It's the rule, on purpose.

Got a question yourself? Just reply to this email or drop me a line at [email protected].

🔥 QUICKFIRE

Chloe Kelly after scoring a extra time winner in the Euro 2022 final

Sound like a regular

Phrase: Medical

Origin: Long-standing football practice. No big transfer is official until the incoming player passes one. Clubs are spending tens of millions, so they want to be sure the body they're buying actually works.

Definition: A full set of physical and fitness tests a player undergoes before a transfer is completed. Pass it, and the deal goes through. Fail it, and a "done deal" can collapse overnight — it's happened to some very expensive players.

Usage: "The deal is basically agreed, he's just flown in for his medical. Should be announced tomorrow."

On this day

July 31, 2022. Four years ago today, England's ‘Lionesses’ won the Women's Euros, beating Germany 2-1 after extra time at a packed-out Wembley — 87,192 fans, a record crowd for any European Championship final, men's or women's.

The winner came from substitute Chloe Kelly, who bundled it in from close range and then wheeled away spinning her shirt round her head in celebration. It became the defining image of the whole summer, and arguably the moment women's football in England went fully mainstream. England's first major trophy since the men won the World Cup in 1966.

Last call

Eddie Howe's departure from Newcastle became public knowledge on Thursday morning.

Reporters went looking for an official statement. The most recent post on the club's own website? The appointment of a new Head of Corporate Affairs, former player Shola Ameobi, two days earlier. Nothing on social media either. Not a word about the manager who'd just left after 230 games and a League Cup.

It’s time to earn your money, Shola.

Enjoy the weekend, folks!

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