Pull up a stool.

Last Friday we got in the dregs and tackled “how qualifying works”.

Today, after a busy boozy weekend, we’re going back to basics. I’m talking baaaaaaasics. Stop the clock kinda basics. 45’ + 45’ = 95’ kinda basics.

“Joe, my head hurts. Just pour my beer.”

Say less. Let’s tap in.

Soccer has no four quarters, no clock that stops, and definitely no buzzer for last call. Matches are played in two 45-minute halves, and the clock keeps running in each period no matter what. The ball can go out of bounds, players can get stretchered off the field and still, the timer keeps ticking.

Why? Because soccer is all about flooooooow. Just like my taps. Pausing the game every time the ball went dead (see below) would be like ordering a beer and letting it sit too long before taking a sip — everything would just go flat.

The ref keeps tab of all the “lost” minutes and tacks them on at the end as “stoppage time” or “injury time” which is why we see 90+2’, 90+5’ and sometimes even 90+10’ on the board.

“Tell me Joe — what the heck is a ‘dead ball’?”

A dead ball in soccer is simply any situation where the ball is not in active play. That usually happens when:

Got it? Dead right you do.

What’s the latest goal ever scored at a World Cup?

An early scare, a late Folarin Balogun strike, and the US walk away with a solid draw. The midfield looked sharp, the defense wobbled here and there, but overall there’s some clear chemistry brewing.

Christian Pulisic was rested and only came on after 73 minutes so expect to see him playing a bigger when the USMNT heads to Colorado tomorrow to wrap up October with against the Socceroos. Yes, Australia’s national team’s nickname is just the word Soccer + the word Kangaroos. If that wasn’t a drunken decision I don’t know what is.

Australia are unbeaten in 11, so expect some organized defense and a tough test.

Joe predicts: 1-0 win for Pulisic and co.

🇧🇷 Ah, Brazil.

The record 5-time champs have never missed a tournament and in keeping with tradition, they’ve already qualified for WC 2026.

What makes them special? Their samba style and flair, is what.

Brazil is the home of Joga Bonito — that’s The Beautiful Game to you and me. They’ve produced arguably the worlds’s greatest ever player, Pelé, who in 1958 scored 6 goals in 6 games (including 2 in the final) all at the ripe young age of 17. I’ve got bottles of whiskey older than that for goodness’ sake.

Coach Carlo Ancelotti is brewing something special, mixing flashy attackers like Real Madrid’s Vinícius Júnior and FC Barcelona’s Raphinha with steady old heads like Casemiro and Marquinhos.

Brazil’s got the whole package — seasoned stars, hungry young talent, and a innate habit of winning soccer games. Never ones to just ‘make up the numbers’, Brazil will be looking to win.

Vamos.

🧐 Sound like a pro:

Aggregate score = the total score over two legs. If the first leg finished 1-0 and the second leg finished 2-1, the aggregate score would be 3-1. This will become relevant when playoffs start for the world cup qualifiers. Watch this space.

🎂 Birthday shout-out:

Former England & Man United defender Wes Brown was born on Oct 13, 1979. There’s a cold one waiting at the bar for you, brother 🍻

👕 Iconic Kits:

Nigeria 2018. Nike had over 3 million pre orders for this beauty. More of the same for 2026, please.

Mehdi Taremi for Iran vs. England in a 6-2 defeat at the Qatar World Cup in 2022 with 102:30 on the clock. That’s the original 90’ plus a whole 12 minutes and 30 seconds. Belated.

Thanks for stopping by The Tap-Inn.

If you enjoyed this, forward it to that friend who knows nothing about soccer and help spread the good word.

I’ll be behind the bar every week, Monday and Friday, serving up soccer. Sláinte.

— Joe