Happy Monday, folks.

Shoutout to everyone who got in touch and enjoyed our Manchester edition. As predicted, the derby didn’t pass without incident. One red card, one goal that should never have counted, and in the end Manchester was blue. We’ve all that and more on tap today:

Let's tap in.

Every bar manager has been there. One staff member calls in sick after drinking 14 beers and forgetting they had work in the morning because they have “a sore tummy”, and suddenly the dynamic of the entire shift changes.

The rest of the team work twice as hard, people slot into roles they’d normally never touch and everyone braces for disaster when the 6PM rush hits.

Sometimes though, if you take a deep breath and dig in hard enough, the shift can run smoothly. That’s exactly what happened to Manchester City on Sunday.

“Backs against the wall kinda stuff. Love it.”

Don’t we all. Here’s the SparkNotes version of the big game:

And most importantly, the majority of our Tap-Inn readers correctly guessed that City (43%) would topple United (25%). Nice one, folks.

That red card though - let’s take a look at what it really means: firstly for the game itself, and secondly for what comes after.

In the NBA, it’s six fouls and you’re out, but your team gets to replace you. Same in the NFL, same in baseball. Even hockey only leaves you short-handed on a clock. Two minutes or five minutes, then you’re whole again.

Soccer ain’t so forgiving. Get sent off in the second minute and your team plays the other 88 with one player less. It is the harshest in-game punishment in any major team sport.

“Sounds heavy. But how does one actually get this ‘red card’ you speak of?”

There’s two ways to go, so let’s start at the start. A yellow card is a caution, usually for a ‘reckless tackle’. Collect two in the same match and they turn into a red, and off you go.

A straight red skips the warning - violent conduct, a ‘dangerous tackle’, denying an obvious goal scoring chance, or abusing the referee will all do it.

Being sent off is only the beginning. A ban follows, and the length depends on what you did.

Two yellows is one game. A straight red and violent conduct is three, and the FA (the lawmakers) can stretch that if it decides the standard punishment is too soft. In 2024, West Ham's Mohammed Kudus had three turned into five for what was deemed misconduct.

“Wait, haven’t I heard about this before?”

Oh yes you have. Those of you who followed the World Cup will remember the Balogun story - the less said about that one the better.

You can also get banned without ever seeing red. Five yellows by matchweek 19 costs you a game. Ten by matchweek 32 costs two. Fifteen across the season costs three. Clubs can of course appeal a straight red as wrongful dismissal. They cannot however appeal a second yellow, because bookings are judged too subjective to relitigate.

Back to this weekend. Kicking out at an opponent is treated as violent conduct so Foden can probably do the math himself.

“11 vs 10… surely only one winner?”

That’s certainly the case the majority of the time. But we don’t love soccer because it’s easy to predict. We love it because it can be a game of chaos, just like yesterday.

City lost a man, and decided to defend for their lives, dropping into two flat banks of four with Haaland a lone figure up front. United tried passing it sideways 472 times around them but simply couldn’t break them down.

The winner came on the hour. For 67 minutes the Red Devils had one extra player and hundreds of searching passes, but at the end of the day there’s only one number that matters most - the score.

On Friday, we’ll be looking back at the worst red cards in the history of the game and the ones still being talked about decades later. Bring a strong stomach.

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/rəʊ ˈzɛd/ 🔊

noun · soccer

Definition: A shot or clearance hit so high or so far that it ends up deep in the stands, usually suggesting it was badly missed or emphatically defended.

Origin: Stadium seating rows are lettered from the front, so Row Z is about as far from the field as a ticket gets. British commentary turned it into shorthand for a wildly inaccurate shot, or a defender getting the ball as far from their own goalline as possible.

USED IN A SENTENCE

"Only two minutes left. There's no need for any fancy from the defense. Just lump it into Row Z."

Matchweek four, and the best teams are slowing pulling away from everyone else below them.

See the full fixture list for next week here.

We’ve already heard all about how Manchester City won at Old Trafford. But the drama didn’t end at the final whistle. The body that runs English refereeing has since said that the winning goal was a mistake.

Quick recap. Joško Gvardiol crossed, Haaland finished, the flag went up for offside, VAR overturned it. The story on the night was that Haaland was onside and that City's Enzo Fernández, who was offside, never touched the ball.

But remember, in soccer. You do not have to touch the ball to be offside. Interfering with an opponent from an offside position is enough. Fernández dived in for the cross between two United players, and United defender Martínez said afterwards he would not have tracked him otherwise. Pro Ref, the referees' body, called it an error of judgement, said VAR should have sent Michael Oliver to the pitchside monitor, and apologized to Manchester United.

None of which changes the score or the color of Manchester. But hey things could be worse for Manchester United, they could be Wrexham.

West Ham 6-0 Wrexham.

Yes you read that one correctly. West Ham who were relegated from the Premier League in May trashed Wrexham in what was one of the most embarrassing nights for the Welsh club. West Ham are now top of the second division, with four straight wins and six different scorers on Friday night.

For Wrexham it was the biggest crowd they’ve played in front of, 59,712 people, breaking a record that has stood since 1970. Hollywood owners, global fanbase but the club still has a lot of work to do if they want to mix it with the best that the English second division has to offer.

Club and country: Manchester City and Italy

What he did this weekend: Kept a clean sheet at Old Trafford while his team played 67 minutes with a man down. He clawed away a point-blank effort from Bryan Mbeumo in stoppage time.

Fact: He is 6ft 5in and has been starting since he was 16, when AC Milan handed a schoolboy their number one shirt.

Toast: A cold Peroni. It’s the beer every Italian in New York keeps in the fridge.

Follow him here: @gianluigidonnarumma

⚽ Goal of the week: Defenders have absolutely no business scoring goals like this. Brighton captain Lewis Dunk, take a bow.

🎉 Fanzone: Manchester United supporters hung a banner above the Old Trafford tunnel reading "the way you treat us is a disgrace," a protest over the club's ticket touting investigation.

📅 On this day: September 14, 1939. Soccer stops for the war. Britain suspended league and cup competition. Clubs played regional games instead and results were wiped from the record.

🐯 Underdog corner: Sassuolo beat Juventus in Italy after watching them claw back two late equalizers. Impressive stuff even before you realize that the player who got the winner Vasilije Adžić is on loan FROM Juventus.

👕 Wardrobe watch: Venezia, the best-dressed club in soccer, have released a third kit made by NOCTA, Drake's label, complete with a redrawn winged lion crest. Tasty stuff.

🔗 Most clicked from Friday: The adidas x Manchester United 26/27 third kit launch.

One last thing before you go folks, I’ve had quite a few requests for Tap-Inn merchandise so wanted to check in and see what the rest of you thought? Please leave your answer below.

Thank you as always for stopping by the Tap-Inn. Sláinte.

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