The Red Card Hall of Shame

Happy Friday. Every bartender keeps a mental list of the worst people they've ever had to throw out of the bar. Soccer keeps one too.

Also on tap today:

• 🟥 The Red Card Hall of Shame: headbutts, kung-fu kicks, and a spiteful hit

• 🏆 Man United blow a 2-0 lead, a 16-year-old matches Wayne Rooney, and Messi hits 100 in Miami

• 🍺 Grabbing a beer with Dominik Szoboszlai after his stoppage-time rocket

Pull up a stool. Let's tap in.

🥃 TOP SHELF

The Red Card Hall of Shame

Every bartender's had to 86 someone. Most nights it's some guy who's had four too many and quietly slips off. But every so often someone earns it in spectacular fashion, the kind of scene the whole pub's still talking about the following weekend.

As we all know, when this happens in soccer it’s a red card. We covered what that means for a team on Monday after we saw a red in the Manchester derby. It got me thinking about the worst of the worst.

In case you missed it, Phil Foden (an English midfielder, who’s been at Man City since he was a kid) kicked out at Bruno Fernandes. Straight red card. Foden was gone. It didn't really matter though. Erling Haaland, City's Norwegian striker, scored and that was that. Final score: 1-0 City. A rough day at the office for Foden. But it doesn’t come close to cracking the all-time list.

Let me pour four that do…

The most personal one

Speaking of Haaland: his dad, Alf-Inge, played for City too, back in the early 2000s. Erling was actually born in Leeds in 2000, while his dad was playing there.

The feud started at Leeds in 1997. Roy Keane, an Ireland legend and Man United's captain at the time, went down with a torn ACL, and Haaland Sr. stood over him accusing him of faking it. Keane missed most of the season. Keane doesn’t forget. In April 2001, in the 86th minute of a Manchester derby, he went in studs-first on Haaland's knee. It's one of the most obvious reds you'll ever see.

He got a three-game ban and a £5,000 fine. Then, in his 2002 autobiography, Keane admitted the tackle was revenge. The FA (England's soccer governing body) punished him all over again, five more games and a £150,000 fine. Keane later blamed his ghostwriter.

Some reds happen in a split second. Keane's took four years.

If you think you already know Roy Keane, it might be because the Ted Lasso character Roy Kent is based on him.

The most iconic one

Zinedine Zidane spent two decades being called one of the greatest midfielders alive. Then, in his last game for France, with the World Cup itself still up for grabs, he turned around and drove his head into a man's chest like he was trying to knock down a wall.

France vs. Italy, 2006 World Cup final. Extra time, 1-1, both sides running on fumes. Italy's Marco Materazzi said something to him that, by Materazzi's later admission, was about Zidane's family. Zidane didn't throw a punch. He just calmly turned and headbutted the man square in the sternum. Off.

France lost the final on penalties, their captain watching it from the tunnel instead of taking one himself. Twenty years later, people who couldn't tell you who actually won that World Cup can still do the headbutt impression. That's how you know it's the bad kind of iconic.

The most costly one

David Beckham, 1998 World Cup, England vs. Argentina. Gets knocked down by Diego Simeone, and on the way back up, flicks a leg out at him like a cat swatting at nothing in particular. Simeone hits the deck like he'd taken a bullet. Red. Off comes Beckham.

Ten men, extra time, penalties, England go out. And Beckham, 23 years old, spends the next year as the most hated man in the country. Not "boo him at away games" hated. "Hang an effigy" hated. Over a kick that barely made contact.

Me personally, I'd have poured the man a pint and told him the round's on the house. Simeone had it coming.

The most unhinged one

Manchester United talisman and France’s captain at the time, Eric Cantona. January 1995, away at Crystal Palace. He'd just been sent off for kicking out at Palace defender Richard Shaw. Fair enough. These things happen.

What happened on the walk to the tunnel does not happen every day. A Palace fan came down to the front to hurl abuse at him. Cantona launched himself over the advertising boards feet-first, landed a kung-fu kick on the man, then threw in a few punches for good measure.

United banned him for the rest of the season, and the FA stretched that to eight months. A court gave him two weeks in prison, knocked down on appeal to community service coaching kids. He never played for France again. Then came the press conference. Cantona sat down and delivered one sentence about seagulls following a fishing boat for sardines. He took a sip of water, said thank you, and walked out. United lost the title that season by a single point. Cantona came back the following year and won the league and FA Cup anyway.

Every bar has a regular who got 86'd once and never lived it down, no matter how many good nights came after. Soccer's no different: Keane, Zidane, Beckham and Cantona won just about everything, and they're still getting asked about their worst ten seconds.

🗣️ SOUND LIKE A REGULAR

"the treble"

/ðə ˈtrɛbl/ 🔊

noun · soccer

Definition: Winning three major trophies in a single season, usually the league, the main domestic cup and the Champions League. The rarest thing a club side can do in Europe. Only nine clubs have ever done it.

Origin: "Treble" comes from the Latin triplus, meaning threefold. Celtic did it first in 1967, and only eight European clubs have managed it since. Brits say treble where Americans would say triple.

USED IN A SENTENCE

"They’re top of the league, in the cup final and through to the semis in Europe. But nobody in that dressing room would dare say the word treble out loud."

🗞️ THE WEEKLY TAP-IN…

Carabao Cup review

Quick primer: the League Cup (sponsored name = the Carabao Cup) is England's second knockout trophy, open to all 92 professional clubs. Think of it like the NBA Cup, a separate trophy played alongside the regular season. Big clubs often rest their star players in the early stages.

The third round wrapped up mid-week, and it had a bit of everything.

• Man United 2-3 Brighton: United were 2-0 up inside 10 minutes, with teenager Shea Lacey scoring on his first start, and they still lost. It's the first time in 50 years United have blown a two-goal lead at home and lost. Boos at full time, and the pressure on manager Michael Carrick is building.

• Ipswich 2-4 Arsenal: Max Dowman, 16 years old, scored twice. He's only the second 16-year-old ever to score two in a game for a Premier League club. The other one? Wayne Rooney, 2002.

• Liverpool 3-1 Tottenham: Spurs finally scored against a top-flight team this season, through Conor Gallagher. They still lost. Dominik Szoboszlai (more on him below) sealed it with a stoppage-time rocket.

• Man City 5-0 Norwich: The holders rested almost everyone, and it didn't matter. Floyd Samba, 17, scored twice on his debut. Haaland watched from the stands.

Next round: City host Brighton, and fourth-tier Fleetwood Town host Arsenal. More on that one in Underdog Corner.

Premier League preview

Four games in, Arsenal and Man City are both still perfect, level on 12 points. They're split only by goal difference (goals scored minus goals conceded, soccer's version of point differential). It's the last round before a two-week international break, so nobody wants to go into it on a sour note.

• Tottenham Hotspur v Aston Villa (Saturday, 7:30am ET)
  Spurs haven't scored a league goal yet. Villa have one, and sit 19th in the relegation zone. Neither should be down here. Villa are in the Champions League this season and have won five of their last seven trips to Spurs. One goal might settle it.

• Brighton & Hove Albion v Arsenal (Saturday, 10:00am ET)
  It's the league's best attack against its best defense. Brighton have already put four past Villa in the league, and five past Coventry in the cup. And as we just read, they came back from 2-0 down to knock Man United out of the League Cup.

• Manchester City v Sunderland (Sunday, 9:00am ET)
  City are 6-for-6 in all competitions under Enzo Maresca, who replaced Pep Guardiola this summer. Following a legend is usually messy. So far, it hasn't been. They're without Phil Foden, who as we know is suspended. But Haaland got a midweek rest, which is rarely good news for whoever's next.

• Elsewhere this weekend: Brentford host Chelsea today, and newly promoted Hull take their unbeaten start to Newcastle. Liverpool boss Andoni Iraola returns to his old club, Bournemouth.

Messi watch

Leo Messi just hit triple digits.

On Wednesday night, Inter Miami beat Cruz Azul 2-0 to win the 2026 Campeones Cup. It's a one-off game between the MLS champions and the champions of Mexico's Liga MX. Messi opened the scoring with a rare header, his 100th goal for the club. Then he set up Casemiro (ex-Man United) for the second.

There's a nice symmetry to it: his first Miami goal, a stoppage-time free kick in 2023, also came against Cruz Azul. He got to 100 in 115 games, faster than he ever managed at Barcelona or for Argentina.

🍻 HAVE A BEER WITH…

Dominik Szoboszlai

Club and country: Liverpool and Hungary

What he did this week: Came off the bench on Tuesday and hit a 25-yard volley in stoppage time to seal Liverpool's 3-1 League Cup win over Tottenham, just as Spurs were starting to believe.

Fact: At Euro 2024 he became the youngest captain in the tournament's history, aged 23. This season he's one of Liverpool's vice-captains too.

Toast: A cold Dreher, the classic Budapest lager, with a pálinka chaser. When Hungary qualified for Euro 2024, he climbed into the stands to knock back a shot of the fruit brandy with the fans. My kind of captain.

Follow him here: @szoboszlaidominik

🔥 HOUSE SPECIALS

⚽ Goal of the Week: Sixteen-year-old Max Dowman skipped past an Ipswich defender and fired into the bottom corner seven minutes into his first Arsenal game of the season.

🎉 Fanzone: Norway's viral World Cup "Viking Row" chant is being adopted by University of Minnesota's college football crowd.

🗓️ On This Day: September 18, 2013: Messi scored a hat-trick against Ajax, becoming the first player with four Champions League hat-tricks.

🐶 Underdog Corner: Fourth-tier Fleetwood Town knocked out second-tier Sheffield United to reach the last 16 for the first time, and their reward is hosting Arsenal at their home ground, which is called Highbury, just like Arsenal's old stadium.

👕 Wardrobe Watch: Brighton debut their one-game-only 125th anniversary shirt, a plain blue polo modeled on their 1901 kit, against Arsenal on Saturday, with only 1,901 boxed sets ever made.

📈 Most Clicked from Monday: Lewis Dunk’s wonder strike into the top corner.

Thank you to everyone who took part in my poll on The Tap-Inn merch on Monday. Some amazing feedback from you all. Watch this space.

And as always, thank you for stopping by the Tap-Inn. Sláinte.