Lamine Yamal: soccer's next superstar?

👋 Welcome..

..to The Tap-Inn. Where you can tap in to the world of soccer with me, your first-gen Irish Tap-Inn bartender, Joe.

It’s Friiiidayyyyyy. Grab a cold one and put the feet up. On tap today:

• 📈 Record Prem winning streaks

• 🏟️ The highest attended game in soccer history

• 👱‍♂️ A man who needs a trim like I need a drink rn

Let’s tap in. 🍻

🥃 TOP SHELF

Manchester United’s bad hair day

Back in October 2024, Frank Ilett made a promise.

The Manchester United fan pledged that he would not cut his hair until his team won five games in a row. 496 days, millions of followers and a physical altercation with another United supporter later, and Frank has found himself with a mop not even Bob Ross would envy.

With his ‘fro growing longer and the Reds’ performances even shaggier, his head has become a living scoreboard of United's decline. Frank put it better than anyone when he remarked, "my hair is a visual representation that Man Utd aren't in the place they should be."

What began as a silly challenge has turned into a weekly bulletin, serving United's mediocrity like a flat beer to the masses.

Because here's the thing: Manchester United used to be THE powerhouse. Under Sir Alex Ferguson — who managed them for almost 27 years — they won 38 trophies including a record 13 Premier League titles. Five games in a row? They'd eat that for breakfast.

These days though, United are scrambling for top four and calling it progress. They're the Lakers rebuilding. The Yankees trading on pinstripes and memories. Still decent, just not what anyone thought they ordered.

But Tuesday looked like it might finally be Frank's day. For the first time during his challenge, United were on course for a fifth straight win. Their opposition? A lowly West Ham — a team sat in the relegation places with just six wins all season. The ideal matchup, it would have seemed.

Last I checked though, soccer isn’t played on paper. United decided to turn in a turgid display, needing a late 96th-minute equalizer from substitute Benjamin Sesko to salvage just a 1-1 draw that really felt like a loss. A close shave — just not the kind Mr Ilet was hoping for.

Four wins in a row was solid, but almost doesn't count. You're either the hero who finally gets the trim, or you live long enough to see yourself become the woolly-headed villain, now accused of profiting from United’s fall from grace.

Hair today, gone... eventually?

🗞️ THIS WEEK IN SOCCER

In Poch We Trust

In an awful week for Franks all round, Tottenham Hotspur manager Thomas Frank was shown the door on Wednesday after just eight months in charge, having won only two of their last 17 league games. Wednesday's 2-1 home loss to Newcastle was the final straw.

So who's next to pull up a stool at the Spurs saloon? Ask any fan and the first name on their wishlist would be the current USMNT coach, the one and only, Mauricio Pochettino. Tottenham top banana from 2014-2019, Poch delivered the best ball of the past ten years and has since added stints at PSG and Chelsea to his managerial résumé.

“Poch??? He’s leaving us???”

He may still refer to Tottenham as, “my club”, but he remains committed to finishing the job he started when he was hired by U.S. Soccer in September 2024 — to get out of the group stages win the World Cup.

As for after the final on July 19th? We’ll have to wait and see.

Premier League roundup

The latest scores on tap from the Prem’s midweek action:

• Man City 3-0 Fulham — Pep Guardiola's side cruised past Fulham (again) with Antoine Semenyo’s fifth goal in eight games since joining City in the January Transfer Window. City now just four points behind Arsenal.

• Chelsea 2-2 Leeds — Two points dropped for Chelsea as Leeds fought back to earn a draw at Stamford Bridge.

• Brentford 1-1 Arsenal — Arsenal went up 1-0, but Brentford pulled an uno reverse card with a goal from a long throw against the set piece masters themselves. Arsenal's lead now watered down to four points.

• Burnley 3-2 Crystal Palace — Burnley ended their 16-game winless streak with a dramatic comeback at Selhurst Park after trailing by two. Their first win since October.

FA Cup preview

The Premier League goes quiet this weekend for FA Cup fourth round action.

The headline fixture? Sixth-tier Macclesfield hosting Brentford on Monday night. Yes, the giant killers who already dumped out defending champions Crystal Palace in soccer’s biggest upset ever are back.

Other noteworthy fixtures include Arsenal vs. Wigan, Liverpool vs. Brighton, Aston Villa vs. Newcastle, Man City vs. Salford City, and Birmingham vs. Leeds.

Still wondering how the FA Cup fits in with the rest of English club competitions? I’ve got you covered.

📝 TRIVIA ON TAP

WWWWWWW…?

Manchester City just set a record with their 3-0 win over Fulham on Wednesday — the longest winning streak one English team has ever had against another.

So tell me, how many W’s are there in this streak?

Keep scrolling for the answer.

🌎 WORLD CUP COUNTDOWN: 118 DAYS

One to watch: Lamine Yamal

If you were planning on skateboarding across America in time for the World Cup's opening match on June 11th, you’d wanna get a move on. Brooke Johnson became the first woman to skate across America when she traversed the country in 2018, covering 3,450 miles in just 118 days.

Speaking of records, one man adolescent looking roll himself into a history book or two is none other than Spain’s generational talent, Lamine Yamal.

“Barcelona’s wonderkid?”

Someone’s been doing their homework, I see. Here’s the basics:

• Why you should care ⚡ He's 18 and has already won more silverware than most players see in a career.

• What makes him special 🔥Two-footed, sees passes before they happen, and makes defenders look like they're running through cement. Youngest played ever to score in and win a major international tournament at 17 — breaking a record set by Pelé.

• When to watch 📅Barcelona vs. Girona | February 16, 3:00 PM ET | La Liga // Spain vs. Cape Verde | June 15, 12:00 PM ET | World Cup opener

I’d buy you a drink, Lamine, but I’ll have to check your ID first.

🔥 QUICKFIRE

Sound like a pro

Phrase: Set piece

Origin: Refers to specific dead ball situations (when the ball is stopped and out of play) — corners, free kicks, and throw-ins — where teams can run rehearsed attacking routines.

Definition: Called "set" because players position themselves in practiced formations. Teams spend hours drilling these routines because about 25-30% of goals come from set pieces.

Usage: "Another set piece goal for Arsenal - their 167th this season.”

On this day

February 13, 1314: England's King Edward II bans soccer in London, calling it a "godless game" that disrupted trade and public order.

Fast forward 712 years, London has 14 professional clubs and the Premier League generates £6 billion per annum. Nice try, Ed.

Stadium of the week

The Maracanã in Rio de Janeiro opened in 1950 for the World Cup and hosted what many believe was the highest-attended match in history: Uruguay beating Brazil 2-1 in the final in front of nearly 200,000 heartbroken Brazilians.

The loss was so traumatic, Brazil changed their shirts from white to yellow with the former becoming a symbol of shame — not too dissimilar to how I ditched white bar shirts for black ones after covering myself in one too many Guinnesses.

📝 TRIVIA ANSWER

20 consecutive home wins

Pour one out for Fulham, folks.

Until next time…

Thanks for stopping by The Tap-Inn.

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I’ll be behind the bar every week, Monday and Friday, serving up soccer. Sláinte.

— Joe