It's official: the greatest goalscorer in World Cup history is...

Welcome to The Tap-Inn. Where you can tap in to the world of soccer with me, your Irish Tap-Inn bartender, Joe. 🍻

We’re getting towards the business end of the World Cup, people. Just 12 of the 72 group stage fixtures remain, and once complete, we’ll know the names of all 32 countries to have qualified for the next round.

If that sounds like a lot of soccer has happened and a lot is still left to play, you’d be correct. Good thing you’ve got yourself a strapping Irish bartender to explain the bits that actually matter to you... On tap today:

• 🥇 The new greatest goalscorer in World Cup history

• ❌ America lose a game that didn’t matter (really)

• ❔ Another quality question from our readers

⚽ GOAL OF THE WEEK

Wilson Isidor — Morocco 4-2 Haiti

Haiti will not progress to the knockout stages of the World Cup. But they didn’t go down without a fight against Morocco on Wednesday in Atlanta.

Six goals were scored in this end-to-end game in Group C. The pick of the bunch? This rocket from Wilson Isador.

Haiti never had a chance of winning the World Cup, but they may just claim goal of the tournament with this one.

🥃 TOP SHELF

Goals and GOATs

If you've stopped into The Tap-Inn this past day or two, you'll have noticed the framed photo of a certain Argentine gone up behind the bar, and you'll have had me point at it whether you asked or not. I’ve pointed at it at least 100 times and I can't promise that I’m finished. But humor me: this one's earned its spot on the wall.

If you’ve been living under a rock and don’t know what I’m talking about — that Argentinian is Lionel Messi. And boy did he do something special this week.

On Monday night, against Austria, he broke the record of the most World Cup goals ever by a single player, with 18.

• He did it at 38. Then turned 39 two days later. What a way to blow out the candles.

• It came on his record sixth World Cup, while defending the trophy Argentina won in 2022.

• He has scored 12 of those 18 goals after his 35th birthday.

Where it stands now, for the record:

• Messi — 18

• Miroslav Klose & Kylian Mbappé — 16

• Ronaldo (the Brazilian one) — 15

• Müller — 14

See Kylian Mbappé up there level with Klose? He climbed all the way to 16 this very tournament — and he's only 27, a full dozen years younger than Messi. So the record's barely warm and there's a young fella already circling it. But Messi's not done either. Argentina close out their group against Jordan this weekend, and as long as he's on the pitch, that number can still climb.

If you've never once sat down to watch him, this is the moment. You're getting the last pages of one of the best stories the game has ever told and the old man's still got life left in him.

And how does the man who’s held the record since 2014 feel about it all?

“For me, Lionel Messi is the best player of all time. Congratulations, champion.”

— Miroslav Klose

The previous record-holder handing over the keys with a smile.

🌎 SOUND LIKE A PRO

“Dead rubber”

Origin: Older than the game itself. A "rubber" was an old term for a set or series of matches in card games and lawn bowls, going back centuries. Once the series was already won, the final game didn't change anything, so it became a "dead" one. Cricket and tennis ran with it, and soccer borrowed it for those group-stage games where the result no longer matters.

Definition: A match where the outcome is meaningless because qualification (or elimination) is already settled. Nothing left to play for but pride and minutes.

Usage: "The USA had already won Group D, so that loss to Türkiye was a dead rubber. Poch rested half the squad and nobody batted an eye."

🗞️ THE WORLD CUP TAP-IN

The top pour

The USMNT topped Group D and could afford to coast, and coast they did.

Pochettino rang the changes for the dead rubber against Türkiye and watched his second string concede a last-kick winner to Kaan Ayhan, losing 3-2 in a game that meant nothing. The boss waved off the critics as "petty," and he had a point: the job was already done.

Because the heavy lifting came earlier. A 4-1 opening battering of Paraguay was followed by a gritty 2-0 over Australia without the injured Pulisic. That secured them six points and sealed top spot and back-to-back World Cup wins for the first time in 96 years.

Next up: Bosnia and Herzegovina in the Round of 32, Wednesday July 1 in the San Francisco Bay Area.

WC specials

With the goals pouring in for Messi (5), Mbappe and Haaland (4), there was only one thing Cristiano Ronaldo could do after failing to find the back of the net in his opening game…

• Portugal 5-0 Uzbekistan (Tue). A proper hammering. Portugal turned on the style against the tournament debutants to all but seal themselves a knockout spot. “I’m back” proclaimed Ronaldo after his two-goal haul... Maybe save the self-adulation for your next game (see below) instead of the 57th-ranked team in the world, Ronnie.

• Mexico 3-0 Czechia (Wed). The co-hosts are flying. Top spot in Group A already locked down, but added three more points for good measure. Of the three hosts, Mexico look the most dangerous.

• Ecuador 2-1 Germany (Thu). Germany led inside two minutes, then Ecuador, needing a win to survive, hit back through Angulo and a Plata winner on 77. They’re now through to the knockouts for the first time since 2006. Germany still topped the group, so call it a wake-up call.

Next on the menu

The final group stage games wrap up tomorrow with Messi facing off against WC debutants Jordan. After that one wraps up (with another Messi masterclass, presumably) we’ll know exactly who’s playing who in the round of 32, as 16 of the 48 nations pack their bags and head for home.

• Colombia v Portugal (Sat, 7:30pm ET). Ronaldo under the Miami lights against a slick Colombia, with top spot in Group K on the line. Looks like it will be a close one.

• Jordan v Argentina (Sat, 10pm ET). With two wins from two games, Argentina have sealed top spot and can afford to rest key players like the US did yesterday. The key question then — will Messi start?

• South Africa v Canada (Sun, 3pm ET). The first knockout game of the tournament. No more second chances at this stage — lose and you’re calling yourself a cab home. Both teams will play a World Cup knockout game for the first time ever. Here’s hoping it won’t be a Canada Dry for our neighbors…

🌎 BAR CRAWL AROUND THE WORLD

Team Review: Colombia

Best World Cup finish: Quarterfinals, 2014. Powered by a young James Rodríguez, who bagged six goals and the Golden Boot before Brazil knocked them out.

Star player: Luis Díaz. The flying winger is the heartbeat of this side, all twinkle-toes down the left with the end product to match.

Joe's favorite city: Cartagena. All those candy-colored walls, salsa spilling out of every doorway. If heaven has a happy hour, reader, it looks a lot like a rooftop in the old town at sunset.

Top-selling beer: Águila. The pale golden lager from Barranquilla is the national drink, Colombia's answer to Budweiser, and here's the kicker: it sponsors the national team. So every cold one cracked in the stands is basically a contribution to the cause. Sláinte to that.

📝 ASK JOE

Q: Why does the game keep stopping mid-half so everyone can have a drink? I’ve watched the Premier League a lot this season and never seen it happen before.

Thanks to Marcus from Tampa for this one. Simple answer: heat. It's the first World Cup to build a water break into every match, roughly 22 minutes into each half, so the players don't cook in the summer US sun. Watch the coaches swarm in with instructions, though; it's quietly become a free tactical timeout too.

It hasn’t been without controversy though. Plenty of people aren’t happy about it, half these games are in the cool of the evening or in an airconditioned stadium in Texas. With, funnily enough, an ad slotted neatly into it. Capitalism, eh?

🔥 QUICKFIRE

Underdog of the week

Ayyoub Bouaddi, Morocco's 18-year-old midfield general.

In Morocco's 1-1 draw with the five-time champions, Bouaddi lined up in midfield against Casemiro and Bruno Guimaraes, two men with about 150 caps between them, and quietly ran the show. Most touches on the pitch. Most duels won. Barely gave the ball away. Then, in case anyone thought it was a one-off, he did it again in a 1-0 win over Scotland.

Three weeks ago most of the soccer world couldn't have picked him out of a lineup. They can now.

Fanzone

Norway are back at a World Cup for the first time since 1998, and their fans have decided to make it count.

The ritual is called the Viking Row. Picture a few thousand supporters sitting shoulder to shoulder, leaning back and forth in perfect time to a single drum, rowing an invisible longship across the stands, and every stroke answered with a roar that'd put the fear of God into a monastery.

They've done it in the stadiums, they've done it up an escalator in Boston's South Station, and after beating Senegal the players came over and rowed along with them.

It helps that the team's giving them something to shout row about.

Last call

File this under only-at-a-World-Cup.

During England's goalless draw with Ghana, the big screen cut to a beaming fan in the stands clutching a replica trophy, and the commentator mentioned "adorable kid" and "little man" enjoying his big day out.

One problem: that was no kid. That was Yaw Dabo — one of Ghana's most famous actors, owner of his own soccer academy, and a grown man whose exact age is one of the great unsolved mysteries of his homeland. The records say he was born in 1998. At least one politician swears he's closer to forty. Dabo just laughs and keeps them guessing.

He spent the rest of his trip hollering "John Telly! John Telly!" at a bewildered John Terry and posing for photos with Jude Bellingham, who looked equally unsure what he was dealing with. The internet, and myself, naturally, lost it.

The commentator never saw it coming. Neither did we.

That's the bell, folks. Drink up.

As they say in Ecuador, ¡Salud! 🍻

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