Cristiano Ronaldo goes on strike
And the only team to ever go a full Premier League season undefeated
👋 Welcome…
...to The Tap-Inn. Where you can tap in to the world of soccer with me, your first-gen Irish Tap-Inn bartender, Joe.
It's Super Bowl weekend, which means I'll be serving wings to people who couldn't name a single Premier League player if their tab depended on it.
Wish me luck. On tap today:
💰 Ronaldo's Saudi sorrows
🏈 Super Bowl vs Champions League: which is bigger?
🇺🇸 The USMNT star you need to know
Here we go. 🍻
🥃 TOP SHELF
Ronaldo's Saudi gamble going wrong
A net worth of over $1 billion can only buy you so much happiness, it seems.
It’s December 2022. Cristiano Ronaldo has just waved sayonara to Manchester United after an explosive interview with Piers Morgan. He's gone nuclear. No top European club will touch him.
Along comes Al Nassr, tabling a contract worth a cool $235 million per year to join them. “Come earn $447 per minute be the face of Saudi soccer, rack up some goals and win some trophies,” was the call. Unsurprisingly, Ronaldo answered.
Let’s take a look at how he’s been faring on those three targets:
Generate attention for the Saudi Pro League (SPL): mission accomplished — league attendances and foreign player interest in the Pro League have soared.
Score a barrel of goals: mission accomplished — he’s nabbed 111 in 127 games leaving him on an incredible 961 career goals.
Win trophies: mission...decidedly not accomplished.
In three years, Ronaldo has collected one solitary piece of silverware (the Arab Club Champions Cup — yes, I had to Google what that even was) and zero league titles. This is despite Al Nassr spending nearly $500 million since he arrived.
But this week came the breaking point. Currently 2nd in the league behind Al Hilal (2024 league winners), Ronaldo watched the January transfer window slam shut with Al Nassr signing basically nobody — while rivals Al Hilal signed his old Real Madrid strike partner, Karim Benzema.
“But don’t both clubs have the same owners?”
Someone’s been brushing up on their Middle Eastern sportswashing, I see.
Indeed, the $941 billion-strong Saudi Arabia Public Investment Fund (PIF) is the sovereign wealth fund bankrolling four different SPL teams, including both Al Hilal and Al Nassr. And more aggrieved than a regular who’s missed last call, Cristiano is not enjoying the fact that they’ve not bought his team a league title yet.
He decided to go AWOL in protest for his team’s fixture on Monday and latest reports indicate that he won’t be around for today’s match against Al Ittihad either.
"So what’s next?"
A Saudi Pro League spokesperson has warned Ronnie that no player is bigger than the club (not too sure about that one, chief) and that their focus has always been on (and I quote), “maintaining a credible, competitive competition.”
Yes — the league that has attracted in every one of their top players by handing them a blank cheque wants to maintain their “credibility.”
Good one, fellas.
⏰ TLDR: Ronaldo went to Saudi for $235m/year and trophy cabinet additions. Three years later: bank account full, trophy case gathering dust, patience wearing thin.
More to come on this next week.
🗞️ THIS WEEK IN SOCCER
EFL Cup roundup
Havertz reminding Chelsea fans as much as Arsenal fans that he is in fact still with the red half of North London.
Manchester City beat Newcastle 3-0 in Wednesday's semi-final second leg (5-1 on aggregate) to book their place at Wembley. Newcastle's Etihad Stadium hex continues — six losses in a row, losing 17-1 in total.
Arsenal will join City after a dramatic 1-0 win over Chelsea on Tuesday (4-2 on aggregate). Kai Havertz scored in the 97th minute against his former club in just his 2nd PL appearance of the season. Nothing quite like your ex showing up to ruin your night.
City and Arsenal — both already scrapping for the Premier League title — will now face off for the first domestic trophy of the season. March 22nd folks, book your tables.
Got this far and still wondering what the f*** an EFL Cup is? I’ve got you covered.
Weston is beston
Is it too early to start sending Valentine’s cards? Asking for a friend.
USMNT star Weston McKennie was named Juventus Player of the Month for January after three goals in seven games. His latest? A delicious volley in Sunday's 4-1 win at Parma. That’s six goals for the season, already matching his Juventus career season-high.
Form on tap.
Premier League preview
All eyes on this pair.
What to know for the weekend ahead:
Saturday kicks off bright and early at 7:30am EST, when Man United host Tottenham Hotspur at Old Trafford. United are riding a three-game unbeaten streak — that guy with the hair is daring to dream.
The spotlight on Saturday, however, falls on Arsenal vs Sunderland (10am EST). The league leaders should cruise past a Sunderland side fighting to stay mid-table, but cup hangovers are real. Don't sleep on it.
The weekend's marquee matchup? Liverpool vs Man City on Sunday (11:30am EST). Slot vs Pep. Salah vs Haaland. Gonna be a tasty one.
📝 TRIVIA ON TAP
Could the real football please stand up?
True or False: More people worldwide watch the Super Bowl than the Champions League Final. 🤔
Keep scrolling for the answer.
🌎 WORLD CUP TRACKER: 125 DAYS TO GO
Tillman on top
Do the USMNT have another star in the making?
Malik Tillmanhas just had the couple of weeks that would make me seriously consider rolling out of the bar bed to watch German Bundesliga games at 9:30am on Saturdays.
“Malik who?”
The 23-year-old spent time in Bayern Munich's academy before breaking through at PSV in the Netherlands. Now with Bayern Leverkusen after a $46 million transfer last summer, he’s starting to hit some serious form.
Two goals in Bayer Leverkusen's Champions League win over Villarreal. Another last weekend in the Bundesliga. All eyes now on his next fixture tomorrow against Borussia Mönchengladbach (yes, that is a real club, and probably the best quiz question answer of all time too).
The US sports comparison?
If Tyler Herro suddenly became a Finals MVP candidate. That's the leap Tillman's trying to make right now.
Next one’s on me, Malik.
🔥 QUICKFIRE
Sound like a pro
The kind of BS concept stadiums that only oil money can come up with. Yes, that is a pitch on top of a skyscraper.
Phrase: “oil money”
Origin: Became common in the 2000s after clubs like Chelsea, Manchester City and PSG were purchased by Russian oligarchs, wealthy Arab Sheikhs and state-owned public investment funds. Recently, PL Newcastle United’s Saudi-backed takeover has continued the trend.
Definition: Refers to huge, often limitless financial power from oil-rich owners or states injected into soccer clubs, allowing them to outspend rivals, poach top players, and bend the market to their will.
Usage: “Who needs scout networks when you’ve got oil money?”
Team of the week
The aptly named, “Invincibles.”
Arsenal, the 2003/04 season: the only team to ever go a full Premier League season unbeaten. Some of the greatest Gunners players of all time were in the squad — Thierry Henry, Patrick Vieira, Dennis Bergkamp. Check out Arsenal’s very own explainer here.
Interestingly, they’ve not won a title since. Quit while you’re ahead, I guess?
On this day
A young Cristiano.
February 5th 1985: Cristiano Ronaldo enters the world. The five-time Ballon d'Or winner and all-time Champions League top scorer turned 41 yesterday.
Happy birthday, Cristiano. I'd buy you a drink, but somehow I don’t think you’re stuck for the cash.
📝 TRIVIA ANSWER
False
The 2025 Super Bowl drew about 190 million global viewers. The 2025 Champions League final? An estimated 430 million viewers worldwide — more than double.
Truly, the world’s game.
Until next time…
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I’ll be behind the bar every week, Monday and Friday, serving up soccer. Sláinte.
— Joe