..to The Tap-Inn. Where you can tap in to the world of soccer with me, your first-gen Irish Tap-Inn bartender, Joe.

There’s two things I love serving in my bar. Ice cold beer and soccer wisdom.

I’m not talking like I’ve just ingested a coach’s manual, I’m speaking plain English - like a regular Joe. A short visit to The Tap-Inn will have you sounding like a pro.

Ready? I thought so. Let’s pour.

If you’re new to soccer, you’ve probably noticed something odd; Every time you see a team playing, they look like they’re wearing a different kit. Teams seem to have… three kits? Sometimes four? A random neon one? A black one? A retro one?

You’re not wrong. Soccer teams have a lot of jerseys. Here’s why.

The home jersey is the identity piece.

This one almost never changes:

This is the kit fans buy their kids, frame on walls, and get married in (yes, that happens). It’s sacred.

Soccer actually has very simple kit rules. If your home kit clashes with the other team’s home kit, you wear your away kit.

Example:

Liverpool (red) playing Manchester United (also red) → Liverpool wears white or green. Tottenham (white) away to Fulham (also white) → Spurs wear navy.

Sometimes the away kit still clashes… and that’s where things get spicier than margaritas I serve on Cinco de Mayo.

The third kit exists for one official reason: “To avoid rare color-clash situations.”

But the real truth is it’s a merchandise machine.

Clubs release a third kit because: fans will buy it, it lets brands try weird colours and designs, it sells globally, especially in the US & Asia.

That’s why you get kits like this atrocity. Man City 19/20. The less said about this one, the better.

If a kit designer has ever said “trust me, it’ll grow on you” — it was a third kit.

Big clubs make tens of millions a year from shirt sales. More kits = more designs = more sales. When Messi joined PSG, they sold 1 million shirts in under a week.

Clubs have multiple kits because:

That’s the whole mystery. It’s not that complicated — just a lot of colours, a lot of marketing, and sometimes questionable taste.

Is credit running out in the Slot machine? Liverpool continued their awful run of form losing at home to PSV in the Champions League on Wednesday. In fact, it’s their worst run of form in 71 years. They have now lost nine of their last 12 games, the most defeatst they’ve had in a 12 game period since 1954.

The team looks out of ideas. Nothing a team bonding session in The Tap Inn can’t fix.

You’ll have to miss Saturday night beers in The Tap Inn if you’re planning to catch Crystal Palace vs Man Utd on Sunday morning. The game kicks off at 7am Eastern time.

After that, you can catch West Ham vs Liverpool kicks off at a more reasonable 9:05am Eastern time. Can Liverpool get back on track after a miserable run of 6 losses in their last 7 Premier League games against 17th in the League, ‘Hammers’?

Serious answers only. Please.

That lineup of players who protect the goal during a free kick. Half courage, half survival instinct.

There’s been a recent trend of the kicker trying to kick the ball underneath the wall. To prevent this, teams place a player lying down behind the wall..

👕 Jersey of the week

A collaboration between Fontaines D.C. and Irish team, Bohemians FC. It’s available for just €75 via the link below. It’s my Favourite.

It is generally accepted that anywhere below your armpit/shoulder is considered your arm in soccer. But this has been challenged multiple times, leading to rule change after rule change.

Thanks for stopping by The Tap-Inn.

If you enjoyed this, forward it to that friend who knows nothing about soccer and help spread the good word.

I’ll be behind the bar every week, Monday and Friday, serving up soccer. Sláinte.

— Joe