Welcome to The Tap-Inn. Where you can tap into the world of soccer with me, your Irish Tap-Inn bartender, Joe. 🍻

It’s the last Monday in April. Which means May is nearly here. Which means the World Cup is getting very, very close. Me likey.

On tap today:

You’re gonna be so much smarter after this one. Let’s tap in.

Let me paint you a picture.

You've just walked into a bar and see 20 people sat around the same table. All of them are sipping on ice-cold beers — all except two or three at the top, who are quaffing something far more celebratory.

“Better be talking about the champagne of beers here, Joe.”

No, I’m not talking about Miller High Life (for once).

I'm talking about the 20 or so clubs who compete in each of Europe’s top leagues — and how it’s actually only a tiny handful who actually get to pop that bottle of bubbly, time and time again.

Let's pour through these elite few, country by country.

The Premier League is the most-watched league on the planet, and — by European standards — the most competitive.

Six different clubs have won it this century: Manchester United, Arsenal, Chelsea, Manchester City, Leicester City (with the biggest underdog win in soccer history) and Liverpool.

Zoom out though, and two eras dominate. From 2000 to 2013, it was Sir Alex Ferguson's United with seven league titles. Ferguson retired in 2013 and they haven't sniffed it since.

Step forward Manchester City. Since Pep Guardiola arrived in 2016, they’ve won six of the next eight titles, going toe-to-toe with Liverpool and now Arsenal in that time.

Right now: Arsenal (just) lead Man City with four games left.

Since 2000, the Bundesliga has been handed out 26 times. Bayern Munich have won 19 of them — including an 11-year streak from 2013 to 2023. Bayer Leverkusen famously gatecrashed in 2024, going the entire season unbeaten.

Bayern won it straight back in 2025 and once again this year with four games to spare.

Right now: Already decided. Bayern. Always Bayern.

La Liga has had five different winners this century. Sounds reasonable — until you learn that Real Madrid and Barcelona have shared 22 of the last 26 titles between them.

The only club to break their stranglehold since 2004? Atlético Madrid, twice — in 2014 and 2021.

Right now: Barcelona need just two wins from their next five games to seal the trophy.

Five different Serie A winners this century too — but one team cast a very long shadow. Juventus won nine straight from 2012 to 2020. That's the New England Patriots winning the Super Bowl every year for a decade.

Inter Milan, AC Milan and Napoli (most recently) have divvied up the scraps since.

Right now: Inter Milan need one more win and the trophy is theirs.

France is a tale of two dynasties with a brief intermission.

Lyon won seven in a row from 2002 to 2008 — then suddenly, the league cracked wide open. Four completely different clubs won four seasons in a row: Bordeaux, Marseille, Lille, Montpellier. Proof it could be done.

Then PSG's new owners arrived with very deep pockets, and that was that. They've won 11 of the 13 titles since, with only Monaco (2017) and Lille (2021) managing to sneak a round in.

Right now: PSG are favourites.

It may not be as high-quality as the others above, but it is famously the least competitive.

Twelve clubs compete in the Scottish Premiership today, but only two of them ever win it. Celtic and Rangers — the Old Firm — have split every Scottish title between them since 1985.

It got so lopsided that when Rangers were liquidated in 2012 and dropped to the fourth division, Celtic simply won nine titles in a row without them. Rangers climbed back to win it in 2021 and the duopoly resumed. Today, they have exactly 55 wins apiece.

But this year, Hearts — who haven't won the league since 1960 — are leading the table. Their final game of the season is away at Celtic Park, against the club that has stood between them and glory for most of their lives.

Right now: May 16th for the title-deciding season finale. Mark your calendars.

Knowledge on tap.

Two semi-finals to catch you up on:

The Final: Man City vs Chelsea. Wembley. May 16.

With City and Chelsea busy in the FA Cup, here’s how the rest of the league kept themselves busy:

Wrexham lost 3-1 to title-winning Coventry on Sunday. They’re still sixth and in the final playoff spot — but Hull are behind them on goal difference.

It will all come down to next Saturday: if Wrexham beat Middlesbrough by more than Hull beat Norwich, they’re in the playoffs. If not, no worries — I’m sure the Netflix ratings will be sky-high regardless.

Since the Premier League kicked off its 20-team format in 1995, how many clubs have played in every single season and never once been relegated?

Answer at the bottom 👇

Unless you’ve been sleeping under a rock, you might be aware that there is an active war currently between the US and Iran.

That’s the same Iran who have qualified for this summer’s World Cup, jointly hosted by Canada, the US and Mexico. And as luck would have it, all three of Iran’s group games have been drawn to be played in the United States. Not the most ideal situation.

Iran have asked FIFA to move their games to Mexico citing player safety, but FIFA declined. They said the players should have no issues travelling around America, while at the same time saying certain support staff with IRGC ties cannot. As for the fans? They’re subject to the US travel ban entirely.

And to top it all off, an Italian-American Trump envoy has suggested that Italy — who didn't qualify — should simply replace Iran. FIFA has not dignified that with a response.

Your fans can't come. Your staff might not get in. Someone wants to give your spot to a team that didn't make it.

Iran finished third in their group at the 2022 World Cup. At this rate they’ll be doing well to even make this one.

Phrase: Home and hosed

Origin: Horse racing. When a horse wins so comfortably, the jockey has time to wash it down before the rest of the field even crosses the finish line.

Definition: A result or outcome so inevitable it's effectively already decided. Used when a team, player, or situation is beyond doubt — wrapped up, done, no drama required.

Usage: "Barcelona are home and hosed at 11 points clear” — “Yeah, there’s no way Real Madrid will catch them, the title is going to Barca again.”

Allianz Arena, Munich, Germany. Capacity 75,000.

The home of Bayern Munich has served 13 million litres of beer and 11 million sausages since opening in 2005. As a bartender, I have nothing but respect.

English soccer has five tiers. York City were in tier five not long ago. Today they're heading back to the professional pyramid after one of the maddest final days you'll ever see.

They only needed a draw against second-place Rochdale to secure top spot. Rochdale scored with the (almost) last kick of the game and looked set to win the title themselves.

After a lengthy pitch invasion, York then incredibly equalised 1-1 with the very (very) last kick of the game to crown their side champions.

The celebrations say it all.

Arsenal, Chelsea, Everton, Liverpool, Manchester United, and Tottenham Hotspur.

Although, with Spurs currently sitting 18th in the table this year, that streak might be on thinner ice than it's ever been.