Welcome to the second World Cup edition of The Tap-Inn. Where, as always, you can tap in to the world of soccer with me, your Irish Tap-Inn bartender, Joe.

On tap today:

Ready? I thought so. Let’s pour.

Vinícius Júnior — Brazil vs Morocco (32')

Brazil were a goal down to Morocco and the whole place had gone twitchy. Then Vini Jr decided enough was enough. Roll the tape.

He collected a pass from Bruno Guimarães out near the touchline, cut inside onto that lethal right foot and let fire.

Worldie.

In American sports, running up the score is borderline bad manners. You're up big, so you empty the bench, take a knee, ease up. Soccer never got that memo. Germany hit seven past a sorry Curaçao this weekend and didn't ease off for a second, and that's not arrogance, it's strategy.

“Strategy?.. Sounds like it’s just the big teams showing off.

It may look like that. But if teams are level on points after three games goal difference could be the decider on who goes through and who goes home. The number of goals you score can literally keep you in the tournament.

Like we discussed last week, Points come first: three for a win, one for a draw. But when teams tie on points, which often happens, it goes to goal difference (your goals scored minus goals conceded). That's why nobody eases off at 4-0. A meaningless fifth goal tonight can be priceless in a fortnight. If teams are still level? Then it goes to total goals scored, then your head-to-head game vs the country you are level with.

“What happens if they have the same goal difference ?”

And if that STILL can't split them, it starts to get really crazy. Next is ‘fair play’ aka whoever has the fewest yellow and red cards. So a team’s discipline can also send them home.

“Has this ever happened before?"

Ask Senegal. In 2018 they were level with Japan on points, goal difference, goals and head-to-head. They were knocked out purely for picking up two more yellow cards than Japan.

In the ultimate nightmare, where the teams are level on all of the above, FIFA just pulls names from a pot. That settled a 1990 World Cup group placing when my boys, Ireland were drawn out ahead of the Dutch. We took it with great dignity, naturally.

Turns out the most disrespectful move in American sports is one of the smartest ones in soccer.

Origin: Coined by Mexican journalists as "grupo de la muerte" at the 1970 World Cup, describing the brutal group of England, Brazil, Czechoslovakia and Romania. It went mainstream in English language media around the 1986 World Cup and has been a staple ever since.

Definition: A group so stacked that even a genuinely good team is likely going home early. Only the top finishers advance, so when you pile three or four strong sides together, someone good is guaranteed to get knocked out before the knockouts even start.

Example: "Haiti got the short straw — they landed in the group of death with five-time champions Brazil and 2022 semifinalists Morocco”.

EXTRA EXTRA: The USA are pretty good at soccer.

The USA threw one hell of a housewarming. They'd never scored four goals in a World Cup game. Not in 96 years of trying. Until Friday in Los Angeles.

The hosts thumped Paraguay 4-1 to open their home tournament, and the 70,492 at SoFi Stadium roared through every minute. This was the first World Cup on American soil since 1994, and the place shook like a Californian earthquake. The opener came inside seven minutes, Pulisic and McKennie prising Paraguay apart down the left until the ball cannoned off Damián Bobadilla and into his own net. The nerves settled before my first pint had settled.

Balogun struck twice before the break, a tidy low finish and then a beauty into the top corner. Here's your stat for the barstool; no American had scored twice in a World Cup match since Bert Patenaude in 1930, and wouldn't you know it, that one was against Paraguay too.

Gio Reyna poured a nightcap in stoppage time for the fourth. Team USA now set their sights on Australia this Friday.

The best fixtures for the coming few days are:

Best World Cup finish: Their only previous appearance was in 1974. They lost all three games, but it gave the world one of the great underdog moments. At 22 years old Emmanuel "Manno" Sanon scored against Italy. Haiti led one of the world's best teams for six glorious minutes. Sanon is still a national hero.

Star player: Duckens Nazon is the nation's all-time leading scorer and their entire goal threat. If Haiti score, odds are he is going to be involved.

Top-selling beer: Prestige. Haiti's national lager and a genuine point of pride. It's collected international brewing awards over the years.

Joe's favourite city: Cap-Haïtien. A mountaintop fortress that is one of the largest in the Americas. With the Caribbean coastline right on its doorstep.

Q: How do FIFA decide where the World Cup is taking place?

Thank you to Daniel in Brooklyn for the question.

Daniel, great question. FIFA doesn't just pick a country, they run a global bidding process. Countries or regions submit formal bids with stadium plans, infrastructure, funding, and security guarantees.

Then FIFA's Council evaluates them against strict criteria; at least 10 stadiums, transportation networks, hotels, medical facilities, and training grounds. The vote is by FIFA's 211 member associations, and the winner needs a simple majority.

And sometimes, they throw all this out the window and just accept a bag of cash.

If you’d like to submit your own question about soccer or the World Cup. Email: [email protected]

Cape Verde

Ten volcanic islands off the West African coast, a population of about half a million, this is their very first World Cup appearance. They were handed Spain in the first game, one of the favourites to lift the cup.

How did it finish? Spain 0-0 Cape Verde. The Blue Sharks, who'd squeezed out African powerhouse Cameroon just to qualify, dug in behind two banks of defenders and refused La Roja a single goal.

Their hero was goalkeeper ‘Vozinha’, a one-man wall whose father named him after the Brazilian Josimar, dazzled by his displays at the 1986 World Cup. Spain had three-quarters of the ball and rattled the crossbar. Didn't matter one bit. Take a bow, Cape Verde.

Meet Jakob Alberti, a 26-year-old from Karlsruhe, Germany who cycled through 27 countries across four continents in 21 months to reach the World Cup. He covered 25,000+ kilometres, experienced floods in Thailand, braved desert stages, and met countless people along the way. Most fans forget their journey. For Jakob, the journey was the story. He arrived in Houston just in time for Germany's opener against Curaçao.

Spare a thought for Sabri Lamouchi.

Tunisia's head coach lasted exactly one game at this World Cup before the federation handed him his coat. Hours after a 5-1 hammering by Sweden, he was gone. The first manager sacked mid-tournament at World Cup 2026, and one of the quickest firings the competition has ever seen.

The kicker? The man lined up to replace him, Mondher Kebaier, is a coach Tunisia already sacked once before. When in doubt, call your ex. Tunisia face Japan next, and must win, presumably with a new voice barking from the touchline. Yikes.

As they say in Cape Verde, Txin-txin!

Have a friend who is all of a sudden a big soccer guy - why not share The Tap-Inn with them so they actually understand what’s going on. Slainté.