The perfect way to play soccer

👋 Welcome..

..to The Tap-Inn. Where you can tap in to the world of soccer with me, your first-gen Irish Tap-Inn head bartender, Joe.

This week we’re talkin’ about the ‘right ‘ way to play the game. Wait, is there a right way to play soccer? I’ll let you decide.

Lets pour 👇

🥃Top Shelf

‘The right way to play’

If I had a dollar for every time some absolutely schwednesdayed guest at The Tap-Inn had been babbling on about how his team’s coach hasn’t got a clue, I’d probably have enough money to buy myself a time machine to stop all their parents from ever meeting and save a little more oxygen for the rest of us.

I’d also probably kill Hitler or something but that’s besides the point.

These days everyone thinks they know the correct way that soccer should be played. And eevvveerryyone thinks that everyone else wants to hear about it.

To most, it’s tiki-taka - short passes, perfect player-triangulation, and enough possession to make your opponent question their existence. Control the ball, control the game.

Pep Guardiola, the most successful coach of the past 15 years, popularised this style with his all-conquering 2008-2012 Barcelona team. Sometimes it can feel like a flat beer with more passes sideways than forwards, but when it clicks, it’s art.

“art doesn’t win you headers, mate”

Enter the antithethis of tiki-taka: route one. Boot it long, win the header, chase the second ball, and pray someone’s there to smash it in. It’s old school, it’s no-nonsense and it may not be pretty, but it can get the job done. See mid to late 2000s Premier League for route one at it’s finest.

All tiki-taka’s playing around with the ball so close to your own goal - just for the sake of keeping possession - can look very very silly when it doesn’t come off.

Hence the appeal of route one - if it’s up the field away from our goals, it’s gotta be closer to theirs.

Here’s to hoofball.

“so what is the right way to play then??”

Different strokes for different folks. At the end of the day if it gets you off your stool, cheering on your team, and ordering more beers, well that’s close enough to the “right way” for me.

📝 Trivia on Tap

Q: How many passes did Barcelona complete when they famously lost 2-1 to Celtic in 2012?

📰 This week in soccer

Adidas launch largest EVER collection of soccer kits

They released 26 kits that will be be showcased by their respective nations at this summers world cup. They are all inspired by each countries unique history, culture and landscapes.

‼️ Liverpool are BACK

For good this time….. maybe. The Premier League champions have now won two games in a row, after a run of five straight loses. Their latest win was against champions league royalty, Real Madrid, winning 1-0 at Anfield. Next up? Pep Guardiola’s Man City, another huge test for the resurgent reds.

🧠 Quickfire

🗣️ Sound Like a Pro

When commentators say “He’s in acres of space”, it doesn’t mean the player’s bought land — it just means the defense forgot he exists.

⚽️ Goal of the week

Micky Van de Ven. If he wasn’t a soccer player, I’m sure he’d have a career as a running back. I mean that man is quick 💨. Watch it below.

🚨 Record Breaker

At just 15 years and 308 days old, Arsenals Max Dowman became the youngest ever player to play in the Champions League. What were you doing at 15?

📝 Trivia Answer:

A: if you guessed 955, congrats. That’s 789 more than Celtic managed. As the saying goes however, there’s only one stat that matters - the score.

👋 Until Next Time…

Thanks for stopping by The Tap-Inn.

If you enjoyed this, forward it to that friend who knows nothing about soccer and help spread the good word.

I’ll be behind the bar every week, Monday and Friday, serving up soccer. Sláinte.

— Joe